Why is it important to Forgive Yourself?
We have been conditioned to over-react and criticize ourselves as part of our “Fight or Flight” Survival Mode, from the days when a mistake could mean life or death. The problem arises when we get so upset with ourselves for minor infractions; forgetting a friend’s birthday, eating too much, or overcommitting ourselves. We are all humans and we all make mistakes. Research has shown that those who practice self-forgiveness have better mental health, healthier relationships. higher levels of success, and improved productivity and focus.
When we make a mistake, we have a choice to take responsibility for our mistakes and move forward or dive into a cycle of shame. When we feel remorse, this gives us an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and grow. When we feel shame, we tend to believe that our very being is under attack and makes us feel demeaned, undeserving and lacking.
The Benefits of Self-Forgiveness
Steps to Forgiveness
Set Yourself Up for Forgiveness
Try to put yourself back in that moment. Visualize the incident, what happened? Did a client’s timeline get moved up? Were you running late? Did something unexpected happen? Did you sleep in or go to bed late?
Notice all of this guilt and where it shows up in your body and mind
Rate it on a Scale from 1 – 10
Forgiveness Mediation: Forgive Yourself Mediation
Find a comfortable seated position and feel the floor beneath you. See if you can expand your breath to 4, 5, or 6 counts in and match it with your mouth and let it go on the exhale.
Create Empathy:
What was going on with YOU at the time? Were you stressed, late, tired, hungry, depressed, or angry? Was something else going on for you with a loved one? Check-In
Learn:
What could you have done better? Take Responsibility for your choices and do better in the future. Been more organized, Gone to Bed earlier, practiced meditation. Check-In
Gratitude:
What could you take away from this mistake that you might be grateful for. Check-In
Forgive Yourself: Say I forgive myself for: Take a few moments to continue with the meditation then write down your thoughts.